my brother started calling our cat “doobie brother” which he then lengthened to “dubious brother” and has since morphed into “brother dubious” like he’s some sort of fucked up little monk
ive said this before but i LOVE lebanon i love that cas isn’t in it i think it’s perhaps the only episode of supernatural to air after 3.16 that is improved by having no cas. because dean HAS to choose. he can have his father. or he can have jack and cas. they are completely, totally, world endingly incompatible. there’s no best of both worlds. it’s one or the other. when john’s there, there is no jack. there is no cas. there is no family of dean’s. dean’s dad and dean’s family are mutually exclusive concepts. they literally physically cannot exist in the same world let alone the same room as each other the rules of the universe will not allow it. every step towards john is a step away from cas and jack. and dean steps away from john and CHOOSES!!!!!!!!
I love destiel because dean is like woe is me no one will ever love my foul decaying soul and I don’t blame them but god do I want and wish for a connection even as it terrifies me because I know what I am capable of. And cas is laying on his bed kicking his feet writing mrs castiel winchester in sparkly hearts. Telling everybody he knows in 12 years I will be the second Mrs. Dean winchester. What happened to the first. I wiped her memory so she never knew she even met him ^_^
It’s crazy how long cas has been gay for. Considering they only let him say it in 2020 you’d think it’s a recent development surely something that was planted and grown in a rapid plot cycle that is so fast and unsustainable it rips all the nutrients from the soil rendering land unplantable for several years. But no. You can so easily watch an episode of supernatural filmed in 2009 the year Barack Obama was inaugurated in a DADT no federal gay marriage world . And cas is GAY. Cas is undeniably ideology shatteringly gay. DONT worry misha collins I saw you cut your eyes away from dean winchester lest you succumb to a charged look in front of your superiors leading you to get lobotomied into hating dean again
its just so sicko voice that dean is like i cannot bear to be seen its the worst fate imaginable because i am fundamentally unlovable. while cas is like. 👁️👁️ would smash. would. because of what i see in you, even. to reiterate. would smash. would. would. would. for twelve years
I think even in years and decades to come when im in a different place w a different life in a different world. I will still have moments of Ohhhhhhhhh my god the market research
(goes to The month of november) (suddenly remembers I’m gay) oh god the fucking market research…
Always thinking about I have a family. Btw. Bc. Well look at it. John says I wish you had a normal life and a family. And dean says I do have a family. John’s response to this is. Yeah. Alright. Before they roll into sitting silently at a dinner table across from each other. Pointedly not speaking. There’s no way it’s John being ignorant of the fact that there are people in dean’s life. There is no world! In which dean doesn’t mention cas and jack At All when he’s doing a tldr of the last decade. Above and beyond that IF it was a matter of Not Comjng Up In Conversation before dropping I have a family. John’s response would have been yeah? I’m glad. You’ll have to tell me more about them. But he doesn’t. He goes. Yeah. Alright. And then they sit at the dinner table and do not speak. So. John heard dean talk about his buddy he lives with and brushed it off. And heard about the non conventional child he was raising (not blood related) (adopted) (weird and autistic) and brushed HIM off too. And dean says. No. You’re wrong. that IS my family.
and yes I do wish literally anything other than the cw’s supernatural had provided me with a lifeline during the darkest years of my life. in case you were wondering. thanks for asking yeah. no I really wish it had been like lispector or dostoyevsky or something too. yeah. so
